The disturbed mind of the Christmas Day airline bomber is evident in a series of tormented postings he wrote on the internet.
As a lonely 18-year-old, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab turned to an Islamic web forum as he struggled with his shame over his sexuality and growing alienation from his family.
His innermost thoughts reveal a shy and awkward teenager who loved football – but also contain chilling hints of the terrorist he would become.
hey show an increasingly religious and intolerant young man who fantasised about becoming a Muslim holy warrior in the ‘great jihad’ that would take place across the world.
In 310 internet posts written between 2005 and 2007, ‘Farouk1986’ – Abdulmutallab’s middle name and year of birth – desperately searches for guidance and help in hastily written messages filled with spelling and grammatical errors.
While at a prestigious British boarding school in Togo, he wrote: ‘First of all, I have no friends.
‘Not because I do not socialise, etc but because either people do not want to get too close to me as they go partying and stuff while I don’t, or they are bad people who befriend me and influence me to do bad things.
Hence I am in a situation where I do not have a friend, I have no one to speak too, no one to consult, no one to support me and I feel depressed and lonely. I do not know what to do.’
The posts were made on an Islamic bulletin board called Gawaher, which literally translates from Arabic as ‘gems’ or ‘jewels,’ but can also be read as ‘essence’ or ‘spirit’.
They started in 2005 when Abdulmutallab was 18 and preparing to apply to British universities. He wrote about his privileged upbringing in Nigeria and his family’s wealth.
Abdulmutallab’s father, Alhaji Umaru Mutallab, a frequent visitor to the U.S., retired this year as chairman of First Bank of Nigeria and still sits on the boards of several prominent Nigerian firms.
His love of sport, British football in particular, is evident with his fervent support of Liverpool, and his disparaging remarks about other clubs.
But gradually the football-mad teenager with academic ambitions is replaced by a student ideologue.
He writes of his struggles between balancing Islamic tolerance and fundamentalism.
‘I want to talk about my dilemma between liberalism and extremism,’ he writes. ‘The Prophet (S) said religion is easy and anyone who tries to overburden themselves will find it hard and will not be able to continue.
‘So anytime I relax, I deviate sometimes and then when I strive hard, I get tired of what I am doing i.e. memorising the quran, etc. How should one put the balance right?’
And there are chilling hints of the deadly role he was to play following his terror training in Yemen earlier this year.
He wrote: ‘I won’t go into too much details about my fantasy, but basically they are Jihad fantasies. I imagine how the great jihad will take place, how the Muslims will win (Allah willing) and rule the whole world, and establish the greatest empire once again.’
He also confides that he struggles with his sexual desires – encapsulated by the religious duty of ‘lowering the gaze’ in the presence of women.
‘And then I think this loneliness leads me to other problems,’ he writes. ‘As I get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and I struggle to control it, sometimes leading to minor sinful activities like not lowering the gaze.
‘And this problem makes me want to get married to avoid getting aroused.
‘The Prophet (S) advised young men to fast if they can’t get married but it has not been helping me much and I seriously don’t want to wait for years before I get married.’
In December 2005, Farouk1986 wrote that his parents were visiting him in London and that he was torn about whether he could eat meat with them.
‘I am of the view meat not slaughtered by Muslims … is haram [forbidden] for consumption unless necessary,’ he wrote.
‘My parents are of the view as foreigners, we are allowed to … eat any meat.
‘It occured [sic] to me I should not be eating with my parents as they use meat I consider haram. But I fear this might cause division and other complicated family problems.’
While officials haven’t verified that the postings were written by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, details from the posts match his personal history.
Abdulmutallab, the youngest of 16 children and a son of the second of his father’s two wives, was raised at the family home in Kaduna, a city in Nigeria’s Muslim-dominated north.
At boarding school, he earned the nickname ‘Alfa,’ a local term for Muslim clerics, because of his penchant for preaching Islam. He went on to study at UCL in London, from 2005 to 2008.
Fabrizio Cavallo Marincola, 22, who studied with him, said he graduated in May 2008 and showed no signs of radicalisation or of links to al-Qaeda.
‘He always did the bare minimum of work,’ Mr Marincola said. ‘When we were studying, he always would go off to pray.
‘He was pretty quiet and didn’t socialise much or have a girlfriend that I knew of.’
Farouk1986 also refers to his love of Liverpool FC in the posts, mocking Arsenal fans for the state of their home ground Highbury stadium.
Writing in February 2005 he described the stadium as a 'tiny junkyard', adding: 'How can someone get to like Arsenal? I tried to, but no way, I've been to several football stadiums, I must say Highbury was one of the least impressive, a tiny junkyard sought of place in the streets of London, what a pity!'
He also made reference to players Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard, writing: 'Lampard is really becoming a classy player. Now I think his better than Gerrard.
'Gerrard might regret leaving Liverpool, but somehow I want him to leave. He keeps on saying the team needs improving when he needs a lot to improve.
'He's getting more inconsistent with time and pressure is on him. He seems to be handling it pretty badly.'
Farouk1986 was enthusiastic and described parts of the city as being traditional and quiet and other parts bustling, with Western fast-food restaurants, amusement parks and gyms.
'Its quite cheap too,' the writer gushed. 'Yemenis are so friendly and welcoming.'
Early investigations into the Christmas Day jet bomb have uncovered ‘systemic’ security flaws, Barack Obama said on Tuesday.
‘It is becoming clear that the system … is not sufficiently up to date,’ he said. ‘A systemic failure has occurred and I consider that totally unacceptable.’
The U.S President said information passed on to U.S. intelligence by Abdulmutallab’s father should have been acted on to stop him boarding the plane.
He had been concerned about his son’s behaviour and alerted both the U.S. and Nigerian authorities.
Mr Obama said the U.S. would have to act quickly to remedy the flaws in the security system.
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